Serving the Savior When He was Alone

Jesus Christ.

I can't express how grateful I am for my Savior. Literally. I'm sitting here, and I cannot find words intense enough or fervent enough to express what is so precious to me. Our relationship has deepened beyond what I ever thought possible.

I think of how He suffered for me in the Garden, living my unique life in all its imperfection so that He could empathize with me perfectly. I think of how His love and sacrifice are rejected by so many.

I cannot find the words.

Everyday, I try to think of how I can show my gratitude. I try to live a happy, righteous life because I want Him to feel at home in it, not only now, but when He lived it in the Garden. I want to make my life as pleasant an experience as possible for Him to go through. My friends have heard me say this before.

A different perspective occurred to me today.

First off, put yourself in the Savior's shoes as He suffered in the Garden. As the Savior, you've never experienced the pain and guilt associated with sin because you are the only perfect human being that has ever lived. You're like a child in this way. You love your Father and His children so much that you are willing to suffer, though you know that it is the hardest thing that you will ever do.

You are truly alone for the first time ever. Your Father cannot be there for you as you take on the sins of the world. He sends an angel to comfort you, but He cannot be there.

And then you begin to suffer for every human being that has lived or ever will live on the Earth...one by one. You see as they see, feel as they feel, and vicariously do as they do in order that you may succor them and take their sins upon you.  How would it be to have God's infinite love while empathizing perfectly  with the worst of humanity? Empathizing as they raped, tortured, and killed your beloved brothers and sisters? To do so an infinite amount of times? To take someone's sins upon you, even though you know they will not accept your gift?

It would be beyond agonizing. So agonizing that it would cause even God to tremble. (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18-19)

Make it more specific. Imagine that your Savior is suffering as one of your friends when they are in their darkest hour. Your friend's head hangs low, their eyes full of tears and their heart dark with despair; Christ is anguished as He feels their pain, takes it upon Himself, and cannot alleviate it because of their agency.

But then, He hears these words.

"You are a child of Heavenly Father who loves you. He sent His beloved son Jesus Christ to live, suffer, die, and rise again so that you can be happy and return back to Heaven. I testify that if you come to Christ, He will help you through every trial. He will heal your wounds and bring joy to your soul. Life is hard, but you can do it! You can do it! He has already blessed my life a hundred fold, and He longs to do the same for you."

They--your friend and your Savior as He suffers for them--lift their gaze, tears falling and their vision clearing... and they see you.

Your Savior sees you through the eyes of another as He suffers.

He hears your words of encouragement. He sees how much you care, how hard you are trying to be like Him. He sees His gift of the Atonement working through you, changing you before His very eyes to become more like Him. He's grateful that you're grateful, and while He continues to suffer, He finds joy in your deliverance.

When looking through the eyes of another, I want Him to see me staring back at Him. I want Him to see His own countenance shining through my face. I want Him to see the fruits of the Atonement before He is finished, to see the changes that His sacrifice will make in my life. I want Him to see how deeply I love Him for what He's doing.

Because in some small way, I want to be there for Him when He had to be alone.

This perspective helps me too as I interact with my fellow men. Some people have no desire to come to Christ, and they do nothing redeemable that I would like being around them. And in those circumstances, it can be easy to brush them off or be less patient and kind. But if I stare into their eyes, knowing that my Savior at one point stared out of those same exact eyes and saw me staring back...I want to be as Christ-like, as patient, as good as I can be. If every time I make eye contact with someone else, I think of directly serving my Savior, then it will be so much easier to be like Him. After all, when you serve others, you are in the service of your God (Mosiah 2:17).